Invite a Friend Sunday Worship Service

Though a growing number of persons are reached through other activities of congregations, a worship service provides a wonderful opportunity to reach a variety of people. As you plan for your Invite a Friend Sunday, the worship service will be the focal point of your activity.

How "Special" Should This Service Be?
Any time we gather together as a congregation to worship God, we should give high priority to careful planning and implementation of all aspects of the service. This is especially important for Invite a Friend Sunday because we want to put our “best foot forward.” The service should be “special” in the sense that we offer God and those who attend the highest possible quality.

It should not be, however, “special” in the sense that it is out of the ordinary. It’s best to plan a service that’s typical of what a visitor should expect to find every week. Special musical programs, dramas, and similar activities are excellent means by which to share with friends. They don’t, however, help visitors know what to expect next week, unless such activities are a regular part of our services.

In short, we want to provide the best possible worship experience for all who come as guests on Invite a Friend Sunday. Then we want to exhibit that same high quality every week thereafter. After all, our God is deserving of our highest praise, honor, and glory.

What is the Appropriate Seeker Sensitivity for Our Church and for This Service?What is the sensitivity in your church?

• Seeker-targeted/focused?
• Seeker-sensitive/friendly?
• Seeker-tolerant?
• Seeker-oblivious?
• Seeker-hostile?

A growing number of churches have incorporated into their philosophy of ministry a weekly or monthly service that is targeted specifically for persons who are unchurched but who are open to learning what this “God thing” is all about. The goal of a seeker-targeted service is for the guest to leave thinking, “This was a program designed for people like me!”

While your church may want to consider offering a regular seeker-targeted service, this may not be your best approach for a periodic Invite a Friend Sunday. Unless your guests will have opportunity to experience a “seeker-targeted” service at least once or twice a month, using such an approach for Invite a Friend Sunday may actually have negative results. Seeker-targeted services require much planning and a solid commitment if they are to be effective.

Instead, you may want to design your Invite a Friend Sunday worship service (and your regular weekly services as well) as seeker-sensitive/friendly. Such services will include the regular aspects of worship that you may be accustomed to now. To be seeker-sensitive and friendly, you’ll want to be careful to avoid anything that will create confusion or that your guests won’t understand. Here are some elements to which you’ll want to pay special attention:

1. Don’t expect persons who are new to the church or to the Christian faith to automatically be able to recite the Lord’s Prayer, be familiar with the Book of Common Prayer, or to know the words of hymns. If any element of the service invites the congregation’s participation, be sure to print the words in the bulletin or reference the page number in the Book of Common Prayer, in your service booklet, and in the hymnal. Announce page numbers throughout the service.

2. Avoid in-house terminology that is not commonly used in daily life. For many people, a “sanctuary” is a place where endangered species are protected. A “narthex” may sound like an illness of the throat or deadly poison. Unchurched people may find terms such as “worship center,” “auditorium,” “lobby,” or “entry area” more user-friendly.

3. While you may not be ready to discard your organ or sacred music for drums and choruses, you may find it helpful to include some newer musical styles. Some more contemporary music can help create an atmosphere that will be more welcoming to guests who have little or no church background.

4. Many people won’t know what John 3:16 is, other than from signs seen at sporting events. The chapter-verse designations will be foreign to most unchurched persons. Consider printing the Scripture text itself in the bulletin.

5. You don’t have to “water down the gospel” to be seeker-friendly. Just don’t expect seekers to understand words that would not be widely used outside of a church setting. Use common, everyday words as much as possible that explain the technical terms. You may find that your every-Sunday attendees will appreciate this too!

6. In printed or spoken announcements, be very careful of “alphabet soup” — acronyms for names that only insiders will understand. If your youth group is known as “SJY,” or you have a J2A group, be sure that guests know these groups are for young people and what ages are included. Also, be careful of names like “Pairs and Spares” that may alienate rather than include singles and those divorced or widowed. You may not have the freedom to change existing names in your church, but be as sensitive and descriptive as possible.

7. Recognize that some persons have disabilities. Help them feel as welcome and involved as possible without calling attention to their disability. Saying something such as “Will all please stand who are able?” is better than “Let’s all stand.”

8. Consider introducing the offering with a statement similar to the following: “Those of us who are a part of St. Swithin’s Church have also made a commitment to support its activities financially. We will now receive our weekly offering. If you are one of our guests today, please understand that we are not asking for a gift from you today. Your presence with us today is a gift to us, and we offer this service as our gift to you.”

9. Have a table with nametags at the entrance to the sanctuary or parish hall. In advance, ask each person in your congregation to pick up and wear a nametag on Invite a Friend Sunday. Ask them also to accompany their guests to the table to fill out nametags. This will assist everyone in getting acquainted. Dale Carnegie often said, “A person’s name is, to that person, the most important sound in any language.” Use this as an opportunity to register the name and address of each guest (for follow-up purposes).

Guests versus Visitor
Using the term “guest” throughout this event sends a subtle but important message. “Visitors” might be here today and gone tomorrow. Most anyone could be a visitor at one time or another. But, we roll out the red carpet for a “guest.” We want guests to receive special honor and our warmest welcome.

“Guests” tend to come back again, in part because we let them know we want them to come again. “Visitors” may not come again because we’ve treated them in common and, often, unfriendly ways.

Return to the Invite a Friend Sunday home page

S. Joan Hershey, A Guide to an Effective Invite a Friend Sunday: Sharing Hospitality with New People.
© 2004 by LifeQuest, 6404 S. Calhoun Street, Fort Wayne, IN 46807. Phone 1 800 774-3360